There’s a lot of talk in the yoga world about love, that it’s all we need, that if we’re not feeling love then we’re feeling fear, and that a lack of love is what causes our so-called “negative emotions” – sadness, anger, etc. “Just be the loooove,” says a breathy yoga instructor in a video on a sunset beach with wind blowing through her golden locks.
Just be the love? What the heck is that supposed to mean? Well, it all depends on what we’re talking about when we use the word love.
The generally accepted use of the word has to do with attraction, with a feeling that’s more intense than like; a heart instead of a simple thumbs-up, as Facebook now offers us the option of expressing. If I love you, that usually means I really, really like you. Or if I love something, then I really, really like it. I love my husband, I love my best friends, I love my dogs, my kids, and I really love green. Oh, and coffee ice cream.
Does that mean that if I “just be the loooove” then I should be going around intensely liking everything and everyone? If I don’t love chocolate ice cream does that mean that I’m feeling fear? Or if I’m feeling anger because someone crossed my boundary or sad because a friend passed away, then I should get back to generating that feeling of intense like so that I will feel better?
The heart has many colors, all of which are beautiful, valid, important, and useful. Anger helps us say “no” when it must be said, sadness helps us to let things go, and fear helps us to stop in our tracks when change has occurred so that we can listen more clearly for what action to take.
The definition of love that I use and work with is this: Love is the willingness to recognize that which is really real. The willingness to recognize truth. (I deeply thank my teacher and friend, Erich Schiffmann for those words, which have now become my words, too.)
Love is the willingness to recognize truth. And what is the truth in whatever or whomever is in my current experience? The important truth to recognize is that this thing or this person is the specific, unique expression of the entirety of Infinity, God, Source, Spirit. They are Spirit being itself as this particular manifestation, this person, this thing. Love is the willingness to recognize this truth in everything and in everyone. The willingness. It doesn’t mean we have to like everyone or everything, because we don’t. We won’t. Many people are really confused about who they are; therefore, they do hurtful things. We have to say no to these things, of course. As I said, anger helps us to give a forceful, “No, absolutely not!,” when needed. But we can say “no” with love, meaning when we are ready, we become willing to realize that they, too, are cut from the same cloth, sourced by the same source, as we are.
As we are? Ah, this means that the most important place to practice love, truth recognition, is right where we are: ourselves. Am I willing to see the truth in me? Can I be bravely willing, right now, to say that I – with all my endless faults and foibles – am also the beautiful and extraordinary expression of God, too? And…can I be courageously willing to let others see it, as well? So, not only is love and outward flow of being willing to see and recognize the truth in others, but it is also an inward flow of letting ourselves be seen. This means that if I’m being willing to see and recognize the truth in others, then I’ve also got to be willing to let others see and recognize the truth in me. Seeing and being seen. When these two things come together, it creates a harmony, a balance, a singularity: Oneness.
In the Freedom Yoga world, we have a mudra that nonverbally expresses Love, this unifying act of the willingness to see and be seen. I’m doing it up there in the picture. “I see you and I love you….and at the same time I’m letting you see me and love me.” It’s similar to the Namaste mudra, but, for me, is much more open and intentional.
We’ve been doing this at the Feathered Pipe Ranch with Erich for years and now I’ve brought it into my classes here in Texas. After I close the class with “Namaste,” we do this mudra with each other, with deep eye connection. People thought it was a little weird at first, but they love it now. You can actually simultaneously feel the outward energy transmission through your hands and the inward receptivity of openness. It’s a powerful way of remembering and embodying what Yoga is all about.: Conscious unity with Infinty. I used to teach at a studio with a glass wall, where students for the next class would be waiting. I would even turn to them and share the mudra. They, of course, had no idea what I was doing and probably thought I was some nutcase. It was fun for me, though.
So, really, being the love is about being the place where the willingness to recognize truth flows through us. It doesn’t mean that we will actually see and recognize the truth right now, but it means that right now we’re in the place of willingness with it all. And willingness is the first step toward growth, transformation, and a profound sense of freedom.
I see you and I love you.